Ah yes, it is once again upon us.  My most hated of holidays followed by the one day during which people will show there greatest disrespect toward others thinly veiled under the guise of a holiday giving tradition.  Yes, Thanksgiving and Black Friday have returned once more to remind me shattered childhood beliefs that during the Christmas season, people look for peace and are kind to their fellow man.

Thanksgiving is a day many of us in the US set aside to be thankful for all the bounty we have -- even in years of economic famine.  We really do have much to be thankful for in this country despite what nay sayers on the news may rant.  We do have a high standard of living with indoor plumbing and a porcelain throne in nearly every home.  We have Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, American Idol and Dr. Phil to give us quality entertainment.  Even our air fresheners have motion sensors so the smell of flowers fill the room upon our entrance. 

Yes, we've got it good compared to that time when a bunch of foolish Europeans nearly starved to death during the winter and were saved by those "savage" natives.  Good thing we spent the next couple of hundred years taking their land and committing genocide.  We can't be held accountable for our ancestor's sins but we really ought to keep this in mind rather than just the friendly scene so often found in elementary school plays.  Speaking of which, just once I'd like to see a school Thanksgiving play where the Pilgrims panic over a turkey which hasn't completely thawed, cursing while they return to the trading post for the forgotten can of cranberry sauce, and complain about how all the food "taste dried out".  There would also have to be that one relative that has had too much mead for their own good.  "Oh no, uncle George is showing the children how to light off gun powder with a tankard still in his hand."

Then there is Black Friday.  Victoria's Secret (nevermind her secret is placed display windows) is trying to spin this day calling it Pink Friday.  No matter the label, a bunch of insane Christmas shoppers will line up before dawn at assorted stores, trying to get a bargain.  Some of these stores are touting they will open at 4 AM for the early birds.  WHY?  Sure, it's the biggest sales day of the year but why not just do it during normal business hours?  Have enough stock on hand and run the sale for a couple of days, does that make too much sense?

Regardless of what policy any stores have during these sales, it is truly the shoppers who bare the responsibility of cut-throat antics that go on during this time.  Flying up and down the parking lot to get a space as close to the door as possible, killing wally world employees who foolishly volunteer to unlock the doors and contriving secret codes with shopping partners so no one else will know what you're doing.  All of this so you can save 5 bucks on the newest edition of Guitar Hero.

On the bright side, your war stories about Black Friday offer me great insight and entertainment.  On Christmas eve and Christmas day, as the gifts are being opened, you start to have flash backs of the event.  "Merry Christmas George!  You like it?  You wouldn't believe what I went through to get it."  From there you regale the family with your side of how you out smarted, fought or stole from someone else's shopping cart what you believe to be the perfect gift.  Truth be told, it also informs us on what a psychopath you truly are and reminds us of why we avoid you the rest of the year.

Take my advice, STAY HOME.  Get some sleep and enjoy a leisurely morning if you have the day off.  Sales will be down this year and I'm willing to bet that by the week before Christmas, you'll get better discounts on nearly everything.  Trust me, as a husband who has done this nearly every year, I know what I'm talking about.

Botolf

"From my heart and from my hand why don't people understand my intentions?" -- Danny Elfman

It has been two weeks or so since my last post.  Sorry about that.  Truth be known, there hasn't been much for me to say.  I have been completely immersed in reality with a sane state of mind which really tends to get me down.  Unfortunately, I still feel sane but have forced myself to return here and at least type a few bits and pieces in an effort to stir some creativity before my favorite holiday arrives.

I have said many times that Halloween IS and will remain my favorite day of the year.  It is the one day when many of us open our minds to the fantastic and allow our imaginations to flow.  We allow our fears to manifest themselves and intentionally look for ways to scare ourselves silly.  Most importantly, above all else, there is CANDY.   No cards to send, no gifts to buy, no poorly cooked meals to suffer through, nor do we have to tolerate those annoying relatives we see but once a year.  We just hand out candy hoping there will be some left over for us at the end of the night.

In preparation of Halloween, I presented myself a small gift.  I returned to Stone Mountain Park over the past weekend, camping in my tent, so I might take the Ghost Story Tour once more.  Was it cold?  Damn skippy it was cold with the temps dropping to just above freezing at night.  It rained all day Saturday and as usual, the weather was sunny and warm as we packed to leave.  The tour, however, was wonderful.  Not so much the stories themselves but to listen to some of the best story tellers was a breath of fresh air.

It never fails to thrill me when someone has the talent to weave a good yarn.  As writers, we work hard to select the right words and put them in the correct order, sometimes rewriting a sentence or paragraph over and over, trying to get it right.  A story teller has but one chance to get it right.  Stumbling over words or back tracking only ruins the experience for the listener or worse, makes the story hard to follow.

There is one man on the tour, an older gentleman, whose ghost stories always have a humorous conclusion.  He is a true master of his craft as he knows how to draw each person into his world very quickly.  I admire him and hope to one day be able to match his talent.

As for the rest of the weekend, the park was also hosting Highland Games that weekend.  The sound of bagpipes being played at the lake's edge so the sound reverberates across the entire park will give you goosepimples.  That is until an hour later, it begins to rake on your nerves.  After four hours, I understood why the Normans hated the Scotts.  Additionally, I have no idea why they all felt the need to wear kilts around the camp ground.  Did they go true Scottish while wearing the kilts?  I don't know, I didn't want to know and I sure as hell didn't ask.

Botolf

I used to share this story a lot with customers and new technicians when it came to charging labor.

A young man is driving across the desert when his car starts running rough.  There is no sign of civilization as he continues down the highway, praying the car will make it to his destination and not leave him stranded in the middle of nowhere.  Several miles along, the car is still running rough and the young man is getting worried that he may be struck in the middle of the desert over night.  As he crest a small ridge, he sees and old shack with two gas pumps out front on the side of the highway.  Thanking God for his good fortune, he prays there is a mechanic there.

He pulls up to the shack and sees an older man, sitting in a rocking chair and sipping lemonade.  The young man gets out of the car and says "Excuse me sir, is there someone here who can help me with my car?"

The old man rises and offers to take a look.  He first listens to the engine idling, then opens the hood...looking first to the left than to the right.  "I'll be right back", he says and heads off to his garage.  He returns momentarily with a small hammer in hand, leans over the engine and makes a light "tap" somewhere near the firewall.

The engine immediately runs as smooth as silk.

The young man is ecstatic that the repair was so simple.  He asks the older man "How much do I owe you?"

Without batting an eye, the old man responds "That'll be $89.99".

"WHAT!", exclaims the young man.  "90 bucks for hitting it with a hammer!?"

"No son, it's 99 cents for the hammer tap...and $89 dollars for knowing WHERE to tap it."

When it comes to doing something we have no knowledge in or something we dread doing ourselves, we fear the worse and expect to pay a fair price for someone else to do it.  However, when the "professional" makes it look easy, we tend to regret our decision and challenge the idea of what it was worth.  It is my experience that the professionals make what they do look easy but this is usually due to huge amounts of training, skill and experience.  If the old man had instead said "Your EGR valve is stuck" rather than just tapping it with a hammer, what would it be worth then? 

So the moral of the story is simply this.  It is not what you do that is worth much, it is what you know about what you're doing that is worth a fortune.

Botolf